Author: Joanna Hazelton

Looking rather worse for wear, in need of a bit of rejuvenation, a little shabby around the edges….my garden and I have a lot in common at this time of year.
Of course, I’ve made the obligatory New Year’s resolutions that I am going to stick to this year:
start going to the gym (again)
no carbohydrates after 6pm (Cheryl Cole swears by this apparently)
no alcohol in January (failed already)
monthly date nights with my husband (optional)
to persevere with my New Year’s resolutions…..
And I thought this year why not make some New Year’s resolutions for my garden too. It could do with some cheering up, some TLC, a bit of life.

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My husband is well aware of the hazards of being in our garden having had the odd flowerpot or two lobbed at him by me over the years.
So when I read that, according to the Royal Society for the Prevention of Accidents, flowerpots are the second most dangerous thing in the garden after lawn mowers, it was good to get affirmation that I obviously wasn’t the only one using flowerpots as a means of persuasion.
However, on reading further, it transpired that being hit by low flying flowerpots isn’t actually the danger. The official reason is that they are one of the prime tripping hazards in a garden.

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Yes, I know. This is going to go down the stereotype route. But the trouble is my husband and I are unfortunately at odds over how we are going to do up our new summer house.
Are we to go with my idea of a girlie haven or his idea of a man den?
Now, of course, it is a given that my idea will take fruition but I have got to humour him for the time being.
For all us ladies, can you think of anything more heavenly than shutting the door behind you in your summerhouse hideaway, taking refuge in sumptuous surroundings and completely switching off from reality? It doesn’t have to take much.

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Karaoke machine, poker table, bar, sofas, soft lighting….
I’m not describing my night out with the girls last Saturday. No. All of this can be found at the bottom of my next door neighbour’s garden. Yes, he has had a log cabin built and the local hot spot is now by the back gate at number 12.
Midlife crisis does spring to mind (I’m anticipating a smoke machine and pole dancers next) but as long as I get an invite I’m not complaining – although perhaps the neighbours will once they’ve heard my rendition of Mama Mia…

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